Phase 1 - OUR LIVES WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.
The day we found out that we were pregnant, I just could not believe it. I took a Dollar Store pregnancy test in the morning. (don’t invest in those.) I took the test, then texted a picture of the results to Cory with the caption, "Does this look like two lines to you?" Neither of us could tell. On the way home, I splurged for the digital PREGNANT or NOT PREGNANT kind. After I took the test, I was too nervous to look at the result. Cory went in the bathroom as I paced in the kitchen...I yelled "What does it say?" He did not say a word, and I knew. He came out of the bathroom and handed me the test. The test read, PREGNANT. We sat at the kitchen table in shock. I felt scared, overwhelmed, and excited all at once. Our lives will never be the same. Wow.
Phase 2 - IT'S ALIVE!!!
After the initial shock and a few weeks of sickness wore off :), my mind became fixed on the fact that there was a living being growing inside of me! I could not wrap my mind around the idea that this thing that was the size of a grape would someday be as big as me, with thoughts and opinions and friends and a life of its own. It rocked my world to think about it.
Phase 3 - PREGNANCY QUEEN
About mid-way though, I loved being pregnant. All I wanted to do was eat from morning until night. I loved the liberating feeling of being able to eat my way through the day with no regret at all. I could get around easily, and people I did not even know catered to me :) It was magnificent.
Phase 4 - HOLY CANNOLI!! I HAVE TO DELIVER THIS THING!!
Feeling Harper move inside of me is one of the coolest things I have ever experienced. I know I will really miss that when I am not pregnant anymore. Once she really started to move, I began to think a lot about the delivery. I was pretty fearful about it at first. I dove into doing research about the process. I needed to find out what was going to actually be happening in my body during labor.
For me, if I can understand why something is happening (a pain or sickness of some kind), then I will do a better job of dealing with it. It is like when I was training during my college basketball days. Even though workouts would be excruciating at times, once I understood what that pain was doing to my muscles, I could handle it. During this phase, I actually thought a lot about my athletic experiences. I have definitely experienced the exhilaration of pushing past points at which I KNEW I could go no further. Through those experiences, I learned that my body is a lot stronger than I think it is. I know that when I get to the dreaded transition stage of labor that I have read so much about, I will be able to dig deep and push through.
Also, during this phase, I really have spent a lot more time with the Lord. It has been a sweet time. My house is currently covered with "labor scriptures" on post-it notes. I have also made a labor worship mix for the birthing center. I know that at the base of everything, through all of my experiences and underneath all of my head- knowledge; He is the source of my strength. He is where my help has and will always come from. I am thankful to know Him :).
Phase 5 - WAIT...SHE IS COMING HOME WITH ME??? TO MY HOUSE???
This is the stage that I am currently residing in . I am not sure how it escaped me before. HELLO?!
I am not thinking about the delivery as much anymore. I am now educating myself about the time after she comes home. I am learning about feeding, and bathing, and pediatricians. The house is also getting the fine tooth comb treatment. Everything has been cleaned from top to bottom. I have washed all of her clothes and bedding, put all of her toys in place, set up the changing area, and put the car seat base in the car. I am so excited to get her home.
Throughout the entire pregnancy, there are a couple thoughts that have not left my mind.
1. I am so thankful. We have prayed for this child for a long time, and the Lord has blessed us. I am thankful for a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. I overflow when I think about it.
2. Cory is going to be an awesome dad. I am so thankful that he is ours :) I am so confident going into this next stage and a huge part of that is because of him. Love him.
PLEASE SHARE YOUR COGNITIVE PREGO STAGES!
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| At a wedding a couple of weeks ago. |
2 comments:
Well, my thoughts with Rebecca's pregnancy were similar to yours in your blog; however, this last pregnancy, they started with surprise and excitement. I then started thinking things like, "what have we gotten ourselves into??? We have 2 older kids who are independent!" I also had fearful thoughts of what others were thinking about us (I know, who cares, right?) but I couldn't help fearing that someone would see me at the Kindergarten meet the teacher and think I was either his grandmother or a crazy woman who had kids when she is old!! :)
But all those thoughts and fears faded the moment we laid eyes on him. He has brought so much joy to our lives! And... the benefit of being an experienced mom is that I don't stress about anything. I DID not clean my house from top to bottom and don't even cringe when I find him eating strange things off the floor! (I won't share some of the funniest ones since you are in fact a first time mommy!!!) Being able to carry and give life to a child is one of the greatest gifts that God gives us.
You are beautiful! You and Cory are going to be the best parents!
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